Pastor Tim's Blog

Resignation

2009-11-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

Well, it is true. I am throwing in the towel with Holy Trinity after nearly 15 years of an extraordinary pastorate. I know some are asking, "what precipitated this?" or "what caused this?" Everybody wants to find a reason or a blame to make sense of "such shocking news." Nothing is wrong, nothing is bad, it is simply time to move on. In as much as one is called to something, I believe one can be called away from something. We share a faith of hope and resurrection. I firmly believe that God is still speaking and acting in our lives and in our worlds and in the world. Change is a constant, just as each season evolves through solstices and equinoxes. As the sunset comes on this day, we hope for the sunrise of tomorrow.

God is incarnational. Through our relationships with creation, human and otherwise. I think we get a hint of God's revelation to us in the here and now. Through the human medium of existence I see God's presence most often. At Holy Trinity, a pastorate does not solely consist of preaching, hospital visits and teaching Bible classes. A pastor at Holy Trinity is an advocate, an activist, a chaplain, a politician, a confidant, an ombudsman, an ambassador, a musician, a prophet, a tour guide, a nurse, a counselor, an administrator, a defender, a coordinator, a cheerleader, a saint and a heretic. No minister could ask for a more exhilarating, joyous, challenging, perplexing, heartbreaking, bless-ed, innovative, and grace-filled balancing act like Holy Trinity United Church of Christ of Memphis. We have been on quite a journey together. In our collusion as the Holy Trinity community, God is very present.

The divine messages these days have been "Tim, it is time to go and get out of the way. You must let go of Holy Trinity. I have something else for you to do. Trust me." Holy Trinity is a top-notch church that has a wondrous future. This is no time for Holy Trinity to rest on its laurels and grow complacent. A new day is coming for all of us and we must walk into the future God has for us, come what may.

I hate long drawn-out departures. I am like my grandmother who, when she said good-bye would say it, give a quick hug and into the house she would run. So my season at Holy Trinity is down to a few weeks. The vestry has called the St. Louis Association office for guidance and support, a plan for interim ministry will begin shortly and an exhaustive search and call process will commence to locate the next great pastor of Holy Trinity United Church of Christ.

And let me lay one last thing to rest, a response to something that I heard. "Tim is leaving because he does not love us anymore." Holy Trinity is a fantastic church, which struggles with esteem issues from time-to-time. I suppose when you are an exhilic community, you kind of get tired of justifying your existence--that is understood. Let me be very clear: I love and care about Holy Trinity deeply. I have given 15 years of my life to this community. My family has grown-up here; my children claim this as their church; my partner has stood along with me and with HTUCC; we have loved this church with every part of our lives. The most loving thing we can do now, is let go of Holy Trinity and trust God's new creation. We will always cherish these precious days at Holy Trinity.

With much love and peace,
Pastor Tim

warm hearted and cold hearted

2009-10-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I'm a "sin sorter" or as some might say, cafeteria christian. I guess this confession comes from my experience, which by the way informs my faith and beliefs far more than I should admit. I mean, quite frankly, who really can be totally objective when it comes to one's own truth? After this past Sunday's sermon (Mark 10:2-16) dealing with adultery and the recent drama surrounding David Letterman this propensity to sorting sins has come to the fore. I have to tell you, when it comes to sins, I much prefer and am far more gracious with warm hearted sins. My most ferocious ire is usually dredged up over cold hearted sins--those sins that result from a hardened heart. I heard one Methodist preacher say that Jesus seemed to find plenty of room for grace with hot blooded sins like lust, adultery, prostitution, fornication, too much partying, expensive perfumes, and jealous partners and friends. In other words derelictions of the heart made on the way to community and relationship Jesus seemed to seek understanding. What Jesus generally showed anger toward was self-righteousness, judgemental attitudes, privilege and power over others, and disregard for the sacred worth of creation. When those hard-hearted circumstances presented themselves Jesus too, was tried on his ability to forgive. I think that is why I could understand Bill Clinton and despise Ken Starr; Defend Martha Stewart and mistrust the "good ol' boys club"; seek leniency for those in foreclosure and condemn greedy Wall Street financiers; roll my eyes at David Letterman and spit on accused extortionist Robert Joel Halderman. Intellectually, I know sin is sin, that thing which separates us from God, from self, from one another and keeps us deceived in compartmentalized realities. God knows, I need to be forgiven and I need to forgive myself. I also must keep learning how to forgive others, too! But, geeesh it is hard not to become hardhearted and draw my circle a little smaller with all my favorite sins.

TMM

At The UCC Church House

2009-09-29T14:53:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't noticed, the faith, spirituality, Church is in tremendous flux again. As Phyllis Tickle says, "every 500 years it seems the Church has a big rummage sale to see what to keep and what to get rid of." I just returned from a fascinating weekend at the UCC Church House in Cleveland, Ohio. Where the conversation was rampant, from the proclamations of the "Still Speaking God" to the Lutheran-UCC pastor sharing about bar room conversations about faith. While there I discovered the UCC is releasing a new song book with exciting new tunes from our present confusion amid re-worked standards. I was very proud of our UCC which has taken tremendous risks to be relevant and to seek a way in the wilderness of this post-reformation, post-modern, post-denominational world. I saw a church that was risking it's own life out of the conviction that God is doing something new. Unlike many churches these days, institutional preservation seems a foregone un-conclusion for the UCC. It is absolutely refreshing to experience a corporate church not acting like an institution based on power, wealth, and self preservation.

In one of the worship services that took place in the Armistad Chapel at UCC Church House we each were asked what we left when we came to the UCC. I immediately answered "isolation and a false sense of independence." Then asked what we gained, I responded, "A family that is willing to wrestle with the truth of who each of us is and can be." In recent weeks we have seen vandalism in Memphis upon the remarkable bill boards proclaiming our truth, our experience and our freedom. Justice comes with a price and the truth of God still speaking in you and me can not be halted by hatred and fear. So as we step further into the morrow of this social-religious flux, we know that God goes before us. Once again as we sing, "Behold, I make all things new" we can say we see it happening in our own time. The strength of our community and our willingness to speak our truth will buoy us through these stormy trials.

Broken Spirits and Full Moons

2009-08-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

Driving home today I feel exhausted. Not exhausted from physical exertion, but from mental, emotional and spiritual exertion. This kind of energy drain strikes me as far more draining, since it seems to stay even when I cross the threshold of my home--my sanctuary. I often turn to music, walks in the "big green", laughter at my little westies or verbally wearing out my very kind partner. Conversations with God continue through telepathy and ongoing communication that originate in the soul. These soul words and soul communications have been with me since I was very young. I am engaged all the time consciously and subconsciously in "soul talk." It could be called prayer or meditation, but those words are too "fixed" to describe this phenomena. Maybe, it is the "still small voice", that Elijah experienced--it just is.

I knew when the full moon was out, all pale and butterscotch that this was going to be a trying weekend. Over and again I encounter folks who are afflicted with broken spirits. Often from Calvinist theologies, feeling like they have disappointed their families, no longer part of the elect they simply lose their fight and give up. Since 1988, I have offered a pastoral hand to gay and lesbian people, some sick with cancers, and viruses. Others have complications from mental grief over the slow eroding spiritual labor of always having to exonerate one's existence. So many of my brothers and sisters are engaged in a slow suicide or are full head onto a death wish. Slow suicide comes from self-medication with various substances, death wish from merely living life with no self-respect. Consequently having no respect for anyone else either. Other deadly gods take control when spirits are broken.

I struggle with self-worth and esteem like many I reach out to pastorally. How could I not when obviously I am neither part of the evangelical scheme of the conformist elect nor a world view that believes "there's a reason for everything." Human being after human being, in the Bible belt, listening to "I must have deserved this", or "God is paying me back for ________." Graceless lives, feeling like great big disappointments or who experience being politely tolerated at family gatherings. I don't exactly feel like that, since I am surrounded by a very loving family. But I understand where my broken queer siblings are coming from. Intellectually, I know God loves me, on a day-to-day basis I am weary with being a gay rights activist. I am an activist because I am willing to say that I am gay to anyone who asks. What is wearying is the self-exoneration work, which seems to be required in this culture. It never stops. Largely, in the glbt community I have to give excuse for my open Christian faith, in the Christian community I have to justify my existence. Then what really wears me out is the shocking presence of gay fundamentalists. People who at some level have rationalized their sexuality, yet continue to hold to a compartmentalized faith rooted in biblical fundamentalism. They would still be at home in a Southern Baptist Church or The Church of Christ if you never knew they had a same sex partner or had same-gender-loving proclivities. If they can hold onto this feeling they are part of the elect, the privileged, then I guess they can manage. Their spirits break when they realize their religious system of conformity doesn't include them.

I guess that is why I am feeling extraordinarily weary. This battle is not with the hate mongers out there, it is with the hate mongers inside our own people. Late nights coaxing away an attempted suicide whose words were laced with "God is punishing me." To a broken spirit whose life is flooded with despair, thus a death wish has ensued. A partner who remains in an abusive relationship because, "I guess this is what I deserve." My soul talk picked up loudly when I got home this evening, walking my westies in the big green, it sounded like Jesus saying over and over again, " ...AS YOURSELF."

Christian Socialist

2009-08-07T16:51:00.001-07:00

I had to blog again, it is just pouring out of me and I have to get it out. It may sound disjointed--but, what's a blog for?

I turned several shades of red today , not from embarrassment, but sheer dumbfoundedness. I attribute my emotion from listening to people who are not integrated human beings, still live with the unexamined cliches of the past and haven't grown past their own upbringing.

Speaking to gay and lesbian people around here, I struggle to keep my mouth from dropping open and not sucking in a bunch a flies from their apparent s--t. I for one, politically speaking am not completely sure of the Obama Health Care Plan. I am still waiting for a full explanation--but not from Fox News.

What I do know is that industrialized nations who are materially wealthy on this earth, all guarantee health care for their citizens. Even some smaller nations like the Bahamas or Cuba do so. When it comes to caring for our citizens the good ol' USA has some work to do. I figured this out when I visited Israel back in 1999, they had civil rights for glbt people--Israel! I then learned that the USA is not the only or the greatest champion of human rights, justice and liberty for all. Thus a dent was placed in the red, white and blue patriotism of my earlier years. Our old slogans and claims to liberty were a bit stale, hadn't changed much since the Bill of Rights in 1791.

So here is the question: The USA prides itself in being the country with such rights as the , freedom of Speech, freedom to worship as one wishes, freedom to bear arms, freedom to assemble, to name a couple of the original 10. These are great rights when you are reacting to a monarchy or dictator. But what about the rights I see in other nations of comparable or less than comparable stature to the U.S. such as, a right to education, a right to shelter, a right to health care, a right to marry whom you wish (consenting adults of course)? Unthinkingly, I heard somebody today who is not guaranteed even the basic rights in the US say they are against a national health care plan because it is SOCIALISM!

I am not going to get into the whole health care for the rich and insured argument. What I am going to get into is; so what about your brother/sister who has no insurance? Are we a compassionate society or is compassion something you have to buy a plan for also? Do you care about anybody but yourself? Read in the Bible, Acts 2: 42-47. Early Christian communities were communist! Do US citizens have a right to health care, education, and marriage? Or is that a privilege borne of what is in your banking account? We are a nation that caters to the privilege of the wealthy. Sounds to me like we have created the very classist society we fought in the revolution. Call me a Christian Socialist, ain't one thing wrong with that.

Why We Study King David

2009-08-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that summer is almost over! Schools are starting back for the 2009-10 academic year, vacationers are returning home and we are buckling down for another round. I have been hearing great feedback about the King David series. As people who are part of the Judeao-Christian tradition it is important to know biblical figures and the stories that come with them. King David is a "must know" since he is the ancestor to Jesus Christ and part of God's covenant history with humankind. Someone asked, Why are you preaching and teaching about David, why is it important for us to know? First and foremost we must grasp that we are loved, claimed and "saved" by God through FAITH (Ephesians 2:8-9). In other words, you can not be or do enough good to earn God's favor. So why not accept God's love and live gratefully? King David, like Abraham and Sarah before him, (Galatians 3:5-6) were considered holy because of their belief (relationship) with God. For many who enter through our doors at Holy Trinity they come believing that they have fallen from God's love and grace due to their sexuality, things they have done in the past, the shame they feel about who they are, or simply just being human! What we learn is that God is merciful and sees us with eyes of love (1 Samuel 16:7, Proverbs 23:7, Hebrews 4:12, Romans 8:38-39). King David, his relationships and his spirituality have so much to say to us!

Secondly, the reason I think King David's story is so important for us to know is that he speaks to so many ills we face. How many of us have poor self esteem? How many of us have dealt with poor body images? How many of us live compartmentalized lives that are not fully integrated into our faith? How many of us are still ashamed of our sexuality and think sex is dirty? And what about the dysfunctional relationship issues we keep repeating? And like last Sunday, how many of us understand the theologian, Henry Nouwen's statement, Forgiveness is another name for love for people who love poorly? King David's life mirrors ours in so many ways. King David also is a child of God who stumbled through his relationship with God, just as we do. He has much to say to us! And think of it, we have not even begun to touch all his Psalms which are conversations, chants, hymns and songs to his number one lover, God!

My Iowa Heart

2009-06-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

Every June it seems that the political heat warms up about as fast as the summer heat here in Memphis. I am delighted to say on June 1st, Shelby County passed a watered down version of the Non-Discrimination Ordinance first imagined by leaders of our GLBT community. For now the resolution reads, no one can be discriminated against as a Shelby County employee based on anything other than merit. It is a giant step for a Tennessee County, and a small step for the glbt community. Naturally, the failure to oust California's proposition 8 prohibiting same-sex marriage; and then the victory over equal marriage rights now given to all people in Iowa, has brought these hot button issues to the front page again. While I sat with a member of our church in the final hearing of the Shelby County NDO, she shared with me her plans for celebrating her union with her long-time partner of nearly 17 years. This year, for their anniversary they are going to Iowa to get married. I thought, Iowa?! God, you gotta' love Iowa, who would have thought those fair minded hawkeyes would ever have gone for that? But, when I began to reflect more on the Iowans, I know, even my cousins who live in Iowa, I thought about how civil and good people they are. Iowa has rememebered the American ideal of "e pluribus unum"--"though many we are one." Yet over this past month as I listened to the public discourse for or against a non discrimination ordinance in Shelby County, I was astounded at the level of ignorance and hatred amongst my neighbors. They qualified their arguments mainly on religious grounds.

It is the same tired ol' arguments that have been used for centuries to deny people equal rights in the "public square". These defenders of the status quo, often citing biblical passages, religious hearsay, outrageous fears fueled by clergy, ultimately fail to grasp the basic concept of "separation of church and state." An outspoken majority seek to keep people of color, women, Jews, whomever they wish to maintain privilege over by using religious arguments. People may say whatever they want in their living rooms, but I think there should be an expectation of civility within the pluralistic public sphere. We have lost what it means to have a public civility, and respect for a private sphere. As public and private continue to become muddled, the less bright among us cannot tell the difference between the two. Our failure to remember history condemns us to repeat it, I'm afraid. The very basics of the American tradition of separation of church and state have to be learned all over again. In my most humble opinion, the state needs to get out of the marrying business and the church [religion] needs to get out of the civil contract business. All unions between consenting adults (including hetero ones) should be civil unions for benefit of the pluralistic public square and marriages, covenants, holy unions, sacred trysts--whatever you want to call them can exist in the religious sphere. The religious folk can define these unions until they're blue in the face. It should be my option as a free man to have a civil union with my mutually consenting adult partner in the public square. And I do not have to go to the Roman Catholic/ Southern Baptist Church for it to be blessed or defined by their biblical/papal taliban judiciary. After awhile it gets to be absolute nonsense. In actual fact you can see that I do not support gay marriage either in the public square. Semantically speaking, I would love to see civil unions come to the forefront of the state's understanding of domestic unions. This issue is not merely a discussion of glbt rights, it is the last bastion of church/state cooperation in this country. On this issue, the founding forefather's were right on target. Let's call it what it is, marriage as defined by most states in the U.S. is nothing more than discrimination based on religion.

Now, for my sisters who are celebrating a big anniversary by finally being able to marry in the courthouse. I say, God grant you many years and God bless Iowa!

When Justice Arrives On Your Doorstep

2009-05-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

Now is the time that we need all those good Christian folks who say they are our friends. I hope some of my well-meaning and supportive buddies on the Memphis Ministerial Alliance will help! I keep hoping that the decency of loving followers of Jesus will out-voice the Christians who use the glbt community as fear fodder. Yep, it is clear that there are different Christianities and on most subjects we see the world quite differently. Sadly, alot of folks in Tennessee like to think the Christian voice is summed up in being saved and conforming to evangelical interpretations of our common faith. In other words, a "fear-factor-Christianity" that is used to serve the status quo, seeks privilege and keeps faith-maturity at a fifth grade level seems to be the dominant and loudest voice. WE really need all the folks who see a diverse creation, who confess a faith that expands our world view and who know a redemptive life is a life of gratitude, to step up to the plate!

Holy Trinity Church has had a remarkable history of providing refuge for gay,lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and progressive Christians in the Mid-South for nearly two decades. Over these years we have seen more and more opportunities for the rainbow community to live and work more fully in the larger community due to our witness. As you all know, hiding in a covered parking lot, existing in unmarked buildings, avoiding the media spotlight and hiding our light under a bushel would not have pleaded our case for fairness. Holy Trinity over these years has at times walked a tight rope between being a safe haven for exiles and being a prophetic voice for our brilliantly diverse community. While we have had seasons of solitude for healing and restoration, we have had seasons for confrontation and advocacy. An opportune time has arisen for advocacy in these next few weeks. Again, we must share our dream of a Shelby County that respects all people.

Last week I had the opportunity of joining with our friends from the Tennessee Equality Project and Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center to help introduce a non-discrimination ordinance to the Shelby County Commission. Who would have imagined that we would be at this place where Shelby County would be willing to hear and consider adding sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression to the present non-discrimination ordinance? This would be a first for the whole state of Tennessee. I wonder if it would set off a chain reaction like dominoes across the state making our Tennessee cities more egalitarian? The greatest opposition will be from right-wing politically active Christians. It is imperative that our county commissioners hear from people of faith in favor of including glbt people in the non-discrimination ordinance. Justice has arrived on our doorstep, I hope we have the oil and lamps ready to make the journey!

Easter Days

2009-04-27T11:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, I came back from a wonderful spring break and found the warm temperatures more closer to Summer than the beginning of Spring. My beloved Virginia was in full bloom and was a feast to behold with its Easter flora and fauna in the mountains. I came home late last night from a wonderful tour of Virginia which began at the head waters of the James River and following the river we traversed all the way to the Atlantic Ocean. While there I was able to see my parents, visit Jodi and Lois and enjoy Williamsburg with dear friends. A break I must confess, I badly needed.
I returned to church this morning excited about my sermon and looking forward to seeing everybody. I came back to Memphis re-energized and ready to get back in the rodeo. I attended Sunday School (God Talk) this morning and was so proud of that group, their earnest faith and honest relationships with God. Wayne Vaughn had cooked a beautiful breakfast and Dutch Warren did an excellent job leading the group through deep spiritual water. I heard not only from two people how much Holy Trinity has meant to them. Closing in prayer the group thanked God for "being with them in the beauty of their humanity and the nasty trials of their broken humanity." It was another fine Easter Sunday.

Good Friday

2009-04-06T00:30:00.000-07:00

Mark 14: 66-72
Philippians 2: 5-11

66While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant-girls of the high priest came by. 67When she saw Peter warming himself, she stared at him and said, “You also were with Jesus, the man from Nazareth.” 68But he denied it, saying, “I do not know or understand what you are talking about.” And he went out into the forecourt. Then the cock crowed.

During the past week while cavorting with my precious daughter through the North Georgia mountains, we came across a most delightful German bakery for lunch. True to its ethnic heritage the bakery had rows of hot crossed buns, various pretzels, some savory and others sweet reminding visitors of Holy Week traditions. I was preoccupied by the display of wondrous baked goods and looked at each and remembered the meaning of various shapes and flavors. They all remind us of the bittersweet days of Holy Week. My gaze at the beautiful glass case containing these goodies was interrupted by a conversation behind the counter. It is so true what Soren Kirkegaard (1813-55) the Danish theologian/philosopher said about conversations overheard. I'm paraphrasing, the conversations we most intently listen to are those we overhear. Two young bakery employees were talking. One of them gazing at the calendar on the wall asked, "what is Good Friday?" The other self-assured responded, "well, that is something Catholics do." Keeping my eyes fixed on the raspberry linzer torte surrounded with lace doilies, I struggled with keeping my mouth shut. The initial questioner then said, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter, I don't get that day off anyway." My politeness gave way to an admission that I was listening to their conversation and I knew that I had no intention of buying a linzer torte. I looked up, fixed my eyes on the young face and said, "that is the day Jesus Christ was executed, murdered, crucified." Silently, I thanked God that I didn't look like a clergyman, or at least I don't think she clocked me as one of them. Dressed in stressed jeans, muddy boots, polo short and a rain jacket I smiled as if I wasn't meaning to correct anyone and asked about ordering a hot crossed bun with my hot tea. I didn't say another word. The young clerk looked at me and furrowed her brow and said, "oh yeah, that makes sense." The other customers in the small shop identified me as "one who knows." Some sheepishly smiled at me claiming me, while others kept a painfully polite non-committal. God knows I hate religious types talking down to me, but I wanted these young clerks to know it wasn't solely a Catholic thing, it was a Christian thing...it was a human thing. I am not sure I accomplished my goal. When I got to our table I asked Jordan my daughter, if I came off condescending. Softly she smiled and said, "no, you came off as a dad who was interested in what they were saying." I hope so. Jordan and I walked out of the bakery with a warm smile and thank you. Under my breath I said,"Spirit of God, please move me out of the way and do your work." As the hymn in Philippians reads, Have this mind among yourselves: God emptied God's being taking on the form of a servant. Being born in the likeness of humanity... (paraphrased) . -- TMM

A Godly Bishop

2009-03-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been! I am still on a high after the wonderful visit of Bishop V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting with the Bishop Friday afternoon at the Memphis Lesbian and Gay Community Center where we posed with a painting of Marilyn Monroe. He left me with a few quotables that I want to share with you as we continue on our Lenten journey toward Easter. Perhaps most meaningful about his visit was the refreshing way in which he communicated God's love. It warms my heart to see a gay man so overwrought with a sense of gratitude for God's faithfulness. OK, so here is what he said, "We are not called to be admirers of Christ, but we are called to be followers of Christ." The context for that statement came when he was talking about how everybody likes Jesus, admires what Jesus taught and see him as a great teacher or prophet. He explained that there are few who want to go where Jesus goes. The other quotable, which there were many, was in response to the question, "Are you saved?" He clearly stated that this is a very good question, "one with which we ought to struggle and it ought to create discomfort." He framed the hard look into salvation language with a transparency about what it means to be loved by God and to love as God loves. He encouraged us to say "Yes, I am saved and have I got a story for you." He became very personable in his sermon that Friday afternoon, telling his story and how God's love was always upon him. He drew comparisons of what it is like to be viewed as the unsaved. In Jesus' construct of the realm of God, salvation doesn't come until we are all included in the temple. He encouraged us to do what we can and quit focusing on what we can't. "That all of us must get up and dance, pray, sing and shout into the temple of God."

On another encounter with Bishop Robinson, after introductions and placing who I was and where I serve, the Bishop exclaimed, "You go girl!" I busted out in blushing laughter as he joined me in a big chuckle. I shared with him, that was the first time any bishop has ever called me a girl to my face! He then shot back, "Well, that may be so but they were saying it everywhere else and behind your back!" When we greeted each other the next day, the Bishop responded with a big hug and handshake when I referred to him as my "girlfriend." What a moment of healing laughter and freedom in the temple of God! I drove home Friday night thinking, this is a Bishop and he is truly a man of God.

Lent Central

2009-03-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

"I will not fail you or forsake you" Deuteronomy 31: 6; Joshua 1: 5

I was walking downtown the other day and saw a sign in front of the restaurant "The Flying Fish." The sign read, "Lent Central " indicating this is the place to keep a dietary Lent. I wondered how many people understood what that sign means? Then I thought why so many people would know what it means, smack dab on the busiest street in downtown Memphis. No matter how near or far any of us are from a faith community, it seems the message of our faith is all around us. I tend to do different things personally to observe a holy Lent, not worrying too much about eating meat this year. But I am intrigued that the old tradition of our faith appears on the front windows of a fish restaurant near bluesy Beale Street.

Over and over again I am reminded of God's pursuit of us. No matter where we are in life or whatever it is we are going through, God is faithful working in seen and unseen ways. The scripture quoted above comes from two sources spoken to Joshua. Moses was first giving counsel to Joshua who was taking the reigns of leadership for the people of God. The second time it seems to be flowing straight out of the mouth of God, certainly coming as a reminder to God's people and to Joshua. Another time it appears in the book of Hebrews (13:5) when the writer of the epistle is trying to reach third generation Jewish-Christians who were thinking of leaving the way of Christ.

I received an email from my good buddy Dean out in San Diego this week. I love hearing from Dean. He is sort of like an adopted son who is ten years younger, but seems like an old buddy too. We've been friends for a long time now. Seen each other through relocations, broken hearts and broken toys. He wrecked my aqua green Geo Storm back in 1993 while cruising some "hot man" walking down Peachtree Street. When he pulled up in the drive way and I saw the hood of the car bent in two, I knew that Dean had a great explanation for the new body job on my Geo. As years have flown by and our lives took us to different cities, we have shared broken dreams and spirits like we did those broken toys back in the day. Not that our lives have been all broken up into somber and trying pieces, quite the contrary. It is during those times that we seem to have the most to say to each other.

Nowadays Dean has taken a dive into Christian spirituality. Long way from the days of being angry about his abusive fundamentalist upbringing. It used to be that I could hardly get Dean to go to church, let alone admit anything wonderful about his Christian faith. California has brought Dean to claim a Christian faith unlike the faith of his rural South Carolina upbringing. At first appearance Dean is one of those guys that you think must have everything going for him. Like most of us, he is as genuine as they come and he has had some hard knocks in life. A couple of years ago he called me with emotional news that he "met Christ again for the very first time" while attending an inclusive and traditional Episcopal church. Today I got an email from Dean who said he was looking at the explorefaith.com web site. He wrote, "Memphis is the place to be for Lent. I am so envious that you have John Dominic Crossan, Marcus Borg, Bishop Gene Robinson, etc. coming there. You have to write me what it was like for you to listen to and to meet them." I nearly fell off my chair to read such words coming from my old friend. I replied, yes, Memphis has some hidden gems that seem to shine brightest during Lent.

I hope all of you are remembering your journey, reconnecting and holding fast to the faith which has been proclaimed to you. If you have wandered off, now is the time to check back in and find the Christ who has been with you all along. Afterall, it appears that we live in Lent Central and the doors are open beckoning us to feed and nurture our faith.

St. Stephen's Day --Prayer to a Guardian Angel

2008-12-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

I had to share this for St. Stephen's Day (December 26, the second day of Christmas) when we remember the poor, the oppressed, the outcast, people living in the terror of war, disease and famine, people who are dealing with foreclosure, bankruptcy and unemployment. St. Stephen was the first Christian martyr. It is where we get "boxing Day" from in British commnwealth nations and "Good King Wenceslas" who reached out to the disenfranchised. Particularly, I think of my own tribe of Lavander People, GLBT folks who are walking into a new year. With the recent spate of violence in Memphis toward the trans-community I call upon this angel. An Orthodox friend sent this to me and I found the iconography and prayer beautiful from the blogsite: http://jn1034.blogspot.com/2008/12/prayer-to-guardian-angel-of-human-life.html

Prayer to the Guardian Angel of Human Life

for protection from homophobes.

lHoly guardian angel, interceding for our souls and our passionate lives, neither forsake us nor leave us for our intemperance of mind, flesh, and heart. Give no place for the subtle demons of homophobia to harm us through the violence of their evils of thoughts, words, and deeds. Strengthen our poor and fragile hearts, and guide us in the ways of our Holy Tradition and the love of the Gospel. Holy angel of God, guardian and protector of our tender bodies and souls, protect us during the present evening and day, and guard us from every evil of those ensnared by the demons of homophobia. Release homophobes from their darkness of self-hate and misanthropy, and lead them to the glorious light of God's way, truth, and life. Pray for us that we're made worthy by the grace and mercy of the All-Holy Trinity.
+ Through the prayers of our holy mothers and fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us and save us. Amen.

Annunciation (Ευαγγελισμός της Θεοτόκου, Evangelismós tēs Theotókou)

2008-12-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God."

St. Luke 1

I love the greek use of "theotokou" in this story about the Annunciation. The news to troubled Mary was "you will be the God-bearer." Wow! How terrifying, overwhelming and seemingly so impossible.

Since such a recent Sunday I have been preoccupied with the Annunciation. Yes, annunciations! The Virgin Mary isn't the only one who gets messages out of nowhere. For those who are thrown by the terribly proper english, annunciation is not referring to , as my mother would say, "quit mubbling and speak up!" The meaning this time has more to do with an announcement or a critical message "you need to know about." Sort of like when the televison goes dead and makes this god-awful screeching sound and a voice out of a blue zone says, "this is a test of the emergency broadcasting system in your area." I wonder if that screech would come on the TV if a tornado actually touched down in our town. The screeching TV and apocalyptic messages seem to go hand-in-hand. I think if the angel Gabriel showed up anywhere in front of me, I would consider it an apocalyptic emergency. The TV may not screech, but I sure would scream. Poor Mary, you know that she was wetting her pants, let alone the fact that the news was not really that good for her. You think getting preganant out of wedlock was bad in the 1950's , well let me tell you about the sixth month, year zero!

As much fun as I would have in telling you about the life of a young peasant woman in first century Palestine, my blog tonight has to do with my recent preoccupation on the issue of announcements or "the annunciation." I remember the night that George Bush announced that he had launched a new war with an attack on Iraq named "shock and awe" in 2003. The President assured us that it was an altrusitic endeavor to bring democracy to Iraq all in the name of "freedom." Yep, the angel Gabriel said to Mary, not to be afraid...good one Gabriel. As we sat back in our arm chairs and reassured ourselves there was a just cause for this assault, I know that it must have been petrifying for Iraqis. The news wasn't good for everybody back in March 2003 as modern weapons went hurling everywhere over Baghdad.

How many people do we know who have received the very truthful announcement "you have a serious disease?" The doctor goes on to say, "I hate to tell you this." Or, "we are going to move you to east bum-f---- and this will be a good move for you?" I would tend to think, "are you nuts, what planet do you live on?" Another message that I have seen delivered this Christmas to some folks in our congregation, " In 10 days from today you will be evicted from this dwelling...this is a foreclosure." With such news, angels calmly say, with best intentions, "it will be OK, it will all workout."

Annunciations usually are earth shattering news. Whether they come across the world wide web or they come to us in a doctor's phone call, we know the information is going to change us. More assuredly, the others who live close to us will be changed by the news too and that can be a worrisome thought. The Christmas story gets romanticized and dolled up to accompany a winter holiday ideal. The fact is, annunciations are made of scary stuff, like the truth. Another adage that I love, "there is nothing stranger than the truth" comes to mind. In such revelations, I hear comments like, "you have got to be kidding?" or "my worst fears have been confirmed," or "what am I going to tell my family?" So that I am not a totally depressant Christmas goat, since there are such things as good annunciations. Well, a few like, "you have just given birth to..." or another one I like, " you have just won..." I can say on a brighter, more cheery note, comments like, "you shouldn't have!" or " you know that I will always love you," or "you were right all along."

Whatever annunciations that you have reckoned with these days, remember the final words of the angel Gabriel to the troubled Mary, "For with God nothing will be impossible."

Emergence

2008-12-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this past weekend I attended The Great Emergence conference held at St. Mary's Episcopal Cathedral in Memphis. I got there and it was like somebody turned a San Francisco coffee shop loose in a revival Anglo-gothic nave. I love St. Mary's architecture, yet it has an accessable and quaint sense like a doll house cathedral. The windows were glowing with heavy blue and red tones, people lounging in pews, sipping hot tea, munching on sweet rolls, noisy, messy, unfettered like cathedrals used to be. As Phyllis Tickle pointed out, who was the main attraction for the event, " In the day, cathedrals had no pews and did not have a seating arrangement. People were strewn everywhere like a town market awaiting the signal to pray."

This weekend did not fail to deliver. I was totally enamoured and challenged by newly ordained, "sarcastic Lutheran" Nadia Bolz Weber. Her gift of prose and uncanny ability to see the holy in our gritty culture drew me into the profanity of divine light. God, I have got to figure out how to get her to Holy Trinity. The talented and organizationally gifted Tony Jones and Doug Pagitt from Solomon's Porch in Minneapolis were conveners and emcees. The music was brought to us by the beautiful Celtic sounds of Stefan Walligur's works. There were angli-emergents, metho-emergents, plain emergents, and various curious denominational stripes represented. Clearly the conference convincingly identified that we are in the midst of another Reformation. It was weird that we were so self-aware of our time and movement. What seemed unclear was what exactly is "emergent"? From my view, I felt as if we were going through a convergence. Creeds, denominational peculiarities, recent cultural battles were melting away into a new consensus toward a new authority in the Church. From the middle ages we moved from sola ecclesia (church alone) to sola scriptura (scripture alone) and now we're headed for sola Deus (God alone) . "God alone" type of authority rests with a discerning community, much like the early church, pre-Constantine all over again. It made me think of the adolescence of our own Holy Trinity Church, how we moved from the gay bar to the storefront to the meeting house in sight of 15 years. I thought, in as much as Christendom seems to have a giant rummage sale every 500 years, I can see how Holy Trinity has shifted every 5 years. Our recent past five years of assimilation and validation seeking are coming to a close. The gifts of an emergent, queer affirming, warmly hospitable, musically eclectic, liturgically driven, diverse community based in the eucharist is already our past and is our future. We are a church from the get-go that is welcome to all, thoroughly messy and wildly unpredictable. Every Sunday we gather with words garnered from our experience, words given by our tradition and words broken over a table. We are an oddity in the United Church of Christ and a bastard to the Episcopal Church. The journey of Holy Trinity roams further into the great "rummage sale" of the church. Like we began back in 1990, we know that denominations will continue to submerge while the affinity in practice and belief will emerge. Once again, on a simply practical level, I see that the pews need to go and the coffee house needs to come back in. Liturgy matters. Beauty, metaphor, and fairy tales have their place in a binary world of ins and outs.

Gathered in the cathedral there we all were. When it came time for the body of Christ to divide up into it's distinctive parts like all conference meetings seem to do. There were no UCC emergents except us. And what exactly is an UCC emergent? More than likely the UCC would fall into a social justice category. Holy Trinity has some of that social justice stuff but that does not seem to be our center. Metho-emergents broke out in song singing, "blessed be the tie that binds." Presby-emergents planned for opportunities to influence their sessions. Emergents went and got another cup of coffee. Then, off we we went to join hands with the Angli-emergents and an affinity was confirmed. In unison, as we broke, we exclaimed, "Thanks be to God!"

Gratitude

2008-08-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

Every time I attend a service at Temple Israel I walk away so fully nourished! Not only have I enjoyed many-a-great meal with this hospitable community, I am nourished spiritually so well. This bastian of Reformed Judaism in the South is well known for its acts of kindness and its mindfulness toward justice. From the swooning tones of my friend Cantor Kaplan to the thoughtful words of Rabbi Micah Greenstein I seem to find myself surrounded in communal holiness. Today I was at Temple to celebrate the Bat Mitzvah of Mimi Scheidt and Meagan Orgel. These two beautiful young women were surrounded by two loving families and a faith community who only want the best for them. The word for the day seemed to be 'gratitude' at Temple Israel.

After some recitation in Hebrew of Torah, prayers and songs the congregation was called to think about gratitude. In simple and poignant words, the idea of praying "after we are full" was introduced. Rabbi Micah remarked how we pray in times of trouble, illness and anxiety...and before meals, when we are hungry. He reminded us all of the prayers that broke out after the manna fell in the wilderness during the Hebrew Exodus. Mimi and Meagan both pointed to the necessity of praying when we are full so that we don't live in some sort of self-satisfaction only needing God in our desperation. In other words, instead of riding around thinking about what we don't have, what we are upset about, what we do not like and finally what is wrong with us and everyone else; what would happen if we lived in a sense of gratitude? What if we forsook the ways of being chronic complainers--only talking to God before a blessing, a want, a desire, and lived in a state of gratitude? Rabbi Greenstein said he saw a bumper sticker the other day that laid the proposition clear--"WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?"

Instead of focussing on what needs to be better, my first question is "What am I grateful for?" It is easy to fill the ears of a patient listener with our lamentations, but it is probably more of a challenge to offer 5 minutes of gratefulness. I think I will start praying after meals making sure that my own satisfaction somehow does not exempt God from my prayerful and heartfelt communication. I bet the Lord will notice, the people around me will too and I might even understand more fully that God has satisfied me in many ways and has not sent me away empty. God forbid if I understand that my many blessings do not need to involve God with the same kind of plaintive prayer as when I am whining. A prayer of plaintive gratitude could do wonders. Mazel Tov!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Wisdom

2008-08-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

"It is better for a truthful person to tell a lie, than for a liar
to tell the truth." Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Conspiracy and Imprisonment: 1940-1945, Vol. 16, Fortress Press.

Nearly every week, when I can, I devour every issue of The Christian Century. Whilst others await monthly issues of their favorite visual and literary aversion, The Christian Century comes to me like a delicious "liebfraumilch." The lastest issue marked August 12, 2008, rang my bell or rather evoked a chime in me long dead. I remember my days at Candler School of Theology sitting in on a class about the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer who was tragically executed at the hands of Nazis. My professor who was German himself, Dr. Sigfried Hoffman, taught the class like a contemporary of Bonhoeffer's. For some reason I always identified strongly with brother Dietrich.

Andrew Root a professor at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN wrote a fantastic article about Fox TV's show "Moment of Truth". The show features contestants whose response to questions are measured by a polygraph, supposedly revealing who is truthful and who is not. Root thoughtfully says that a polygraph measures doubt, but it does not measure truth. Roots article goes on to expose that the TV show has no interest in the truth since it does not have any interest in the human relationships that the show seeks to betray. In other words truth is not something that is non-contexual, but rather is rooted in relationships. At times our humanity is very vulnerable, our relationships are a far greater truth to be protected. To tell the truth out of context expresses doubt rather than truth. I know this all sounds so convoluted, so let me put it in a parable:

I learned today that my favorite neighbor, Margaret was told that the authorities in another city had found her sister dead. The report said that Margaret's sister may have been dead for a week. Margaret is very upset as you can imagine. Margaret would often have conversations with me about her sister who had a very serious addiction to alcohol. The family had been so concerned that they all had once participated in an intervention which worked to no avail. In earlier years when Margaret was asked about her sister by others, if she was an alcoholic--a "lost cause" some would say, Margaret would always say that "my sister is OK." Margaret always told the truth in that her sister's relationship with her was OK. In no way could Margaret dismiss her sister due to the judgements or the non-contexual "concrete truth" that overode the "situational/principled truth". Margaret was faithful to her relationship with her sister.

Ok, some of you may be asking, what has gotten into Tim's crawl? Well here it goes, over the span of my vocational life I have been privy to, sat in upon, been subjected to "truth-digging do- gooders". In as much as these very righteous warriors of the church would implement their causes with "inquisitions" they would leave divisive and bitter pain in their wake. When I sat before a committee of investigation in the United Methodist Church nearly 20 years ago, I was asked if I were a "self-avowed, practicing homosexual". My response to the question had nothing to do with my integrity, it had to do with "information as power" which would indicate certain death in the UMC world. As latter days would have it, you see that I am no longer part of the "bretheren" in the UMC. I saw that it was a context unsafe for me and my family. I guarded my secrets and chose to let others who love me handle those secrets. As Bonhoeffer would say, "a boundary was being crossed and liars use truth to violate boundaries in order to humiliate," and control. In another instance I had to sit and listen to the scornful words of an accuser who said that a person in leadership in our community is unfit due to being an alcoholic, even though this person was in recovery for many years. In the confrontation that I mediated, the accusers were constantly saying they were "only telling the truth." Somewhere through the unfortunate meeting I realized that there was no concern for the person by the accusers. It was an act of deception in order to gain power and to pay back this person for standing up to them.

I am always amazed at what happens in the name of the "truth". When truth is used as a weapon or as a means to betray the greater concrete truth of our relationships we only become flapping trivialists who know facts. St. James termed it as a "flaming tongue which sets many a forest aflame." Telling the truth is not a pornographic display of our inner most feelings and thoughts, telling the truth means living up to and into the contextual reality of our lives--as we live them in relationship with one another. As we struggle with literalists who distort our humanity in the Church, those "truth keepers" who protect the status quo in compartmentalized structures of power we forget that truth is contextual most of the time and factual less of the time. I know, I know this shakes another foundation in the centers of bibliolatry. I suppose, once again, it is the essence, the spirit of truth that reigns supreme even while encased in the messiness of humanity. Dietrich Bonhoeffer staked his life on living into this truth. He was an activist, he did break the law, he was fully aware of the frailty of his humanity, he loved his neighbors and undermined the liars who tried to dehumanize with propoganda millions of Jewish, Gypsies, and gay/lesbian people.

Sadly, the liars and the inquisitors lie outside my contextual circle of truthfulness, so what am I to do? My good ol' Evangelical preaching uncle would say, "evangelize and convert!" Oh no, here we go again. I think I will accept the messy humanity part and try to tell the truth as best as I can.

Join me August 17 at God Talk, 9:30 AM, Sunday and we can talk more about this and I'll bring the Christian Century with me. -TMM

Charter Blog

2008-07-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

I suppose you could call this my "charter blog." Beginning today the sometimes world of Rev. Tim or Pastor Tim of Memphis, Tennessee will be in script for the eyes of the world to read. Most of the time in my 47 years of incarnation, and the only incarnation I recognize at this point, I have kept my thoughts to my own mind, musical lyrics and spirited extemporaneous preaching. Sure, I can admit to telepathic communication with the Divine in waves of mindfulness while driving down the road in a quiet car. But, like so much of this twenty-first century communication revolution the blog has been flirting with me to visit and offer my tangible thought in regular verbosity. So, this is a first for me. Even though I know I am among the millions who throw their words into the cosmos for all to see, like other bloggers, it feels good to let it all out.

As I write this charter blog, I have to say some things about Joy Booker who was a charter member of the church I have served for nearly 14 years. Holy Trinity Community Church, now a United Church of Christ was chartered in 1990. Among the thirteen who gathered that first Sunday in a storefront, was a tall, striking, thin, gender bending woman known by close associates as JB. At her funeral this past weekend, which was held in our beautiful sanctuary, she was labeled the "godfather of the gays." Joy was raised in the Roman Catholic Church and was well educated in Catholic schools. For her to attend Holy Trinity UCC was not only an obligation but was the fulfillment of a dream for her. Every Sunday that she could attend, and that was 85% of the services in a year, JB would come dressed in fanciful men's suits and an occasional fedora. She would approach the communion rail and kneel with tremendous dignity and would never partake of the host until after she had said "amen". While Joy fought a hard battle with Sickle Cell Anemia which exhausted her and caused her to drag a tank of oxygen along behind her, she never became disillusioned. She waged war on racism, sexism, and heterosexism with gentle finesse and iron-like conviction. She served throughout the same-gender loving community with consistency and intellect.

Her funeral or "celebration of life," as we termed it, was was with over flowing attendance allowing standing room only. Her mother, Toya Booker, insisted that we have the service in "Joy's church" and that we hide nothing about her life. So often I am called to officiate at funerals where the family has secrets about their departed sons's HIV status or their mother's sexuality. Life-long partners are left in the back pew crying silently and family members are suspended in fear of the "great revelation" of the departed. I walk out of those funeral homes wishing that I knew nothing about the situation, while I too, am suspended in the great deception. Pastorally, silent acknowledgements are made while all of us enter the mutually delusional closet of social decorum.

In JB's case, the celebration of her life was a very rare glimpse of everybody being "for real" and authentic in a way we can only hope for once in a single life-time. The largely African-American, Christian, and same gender loving people were together, gathered in a service of worship where the truth of life was spoken. We giggled knowingly at Joy's penchant for beautiful women. We were touched by her raspy voice calling us to get "outside of ourselves." And we respected her because she was true to her word and we could always count on her to be there. For a moment, I swore the veil between the realm of heaven and earth had disappeared. The crown of life we witnessed in JB, was an integrated life where indeed the inward and spiritual grace of her life was revealed outwardly and tangibly as a sign of a life fully lived. Joy Booker, "godfather to the gays," may be the last of the original 13 charter members of Holy Trinity Community Church. Holy Trinity is built on the lives of such genuine saints and hundreds have passed through those church doors. As the statuesque, proud and beautiful all female pall bearers carried JB's casket in and out of the church, I knew that the new creation that we read about in Christian scriptures was indeed at hand.