My Iowa Heart

Every June it seems that the political heat warms up about as fast as the summer heat here in Memphis. I am delighted to say on June 1st, Shelby County passed a watered down version of the Non-Discrimination Ordinance first imagined by leaders of our GLBT community. For now the resolution reads, no one can be discriminated against as a Shelby County employee based on anything other than merit. It is a giant step for a Tennessee County, and a small step for the glbt community. Naturally, the failure to oust California's proposition 8 prohibiting same-sex marriage; and then the victory over equal marriage rights now given to all people in Iowa, has brought these hot button issues to the front page again. While I sat with a member of our church in the final hearing of the Shelby County NDO, she shared with me her plans for celebrating her union with her long-time partner of nearly 17 years. This year, for their anniversary they are going to Iowa to get married. I thought, Iowa?! God, you gotta' love Iowa, who would have thought those fair minded hawkeyes would ever have gone for that? But, when I began to reflect more on the Iowans, I know, even my cousins who live in Iowa, I thought about how civil and good people they are. Iowa has rememebered the American ideal of "e pluribus unum"--"though many we are one." Yet over this past month as I listened to the public discourse for or against a non discrimination ordinance in Shelby County, I was astounded at the level of ignorance and hatred amongst my neighbors. They qualified their arguments mainly on religious grounds.

It is the same tired ol' arguments that have been used for centuries to deny people equal rights in the "public square". These defenders of the status quo, often citing biblical passages, religious hearsay, outrageous fears fueled by clergy, ultimately fail to grasp the basic concept of "separation of church and state." An outspoken majority seek to keep people of color, women, Jews, whomever they wish to maintain privilege over by using religious arguments. People may say whatever they want in their living rooms, but I think there should be an expectation of civility within the pluralistic public sphere. We have lost what it means to have a public civility, and respect for a private sphere. As public and private continue to become muddled, the less bright among us cannot tell the difference between the two. Our failure to remember history condemns us to repeat it, I'm afraid. The very basics of the American tradition of separation of church and state have to be learned all over again. In my most humble opinion, the state needs to get out of the marrying business and the church [religion] needs to get out of the civil contract business. All unions between consenting adults (including hetero ones) should be civil unions for benefit of the pluralistic public square and marriages, covenants, holy unions, sacred trysts--whatever you want to call them can exist in the religious sphere. The religious folk can define these unions until they're blue in the face. It should be my option as a free man to have a civil union with my mutually consenting adult partner in the public square. And I do not have to go to the Roman Catholic/ Southern Baptist Church for it to be blessed or defined by their biblical/papal taliban judiciary. After awhile it gets to be absolute nonsense. In actual fact you can see that I do not support gay marriage either in the public square. Semantically speaking, I would love to see civil unions come to the forefront of the state's understanding of domestic unions. This issue is not merely a discussion of glbt rights, it is the last bastion of church/state cooperation in this country. On this issue, the founding forefather's were right on target. Let's call it what it is, marriage as defined by most states in the U.S. is nothing more than discrimination based on religion.

Now, for my sisters who are celebrating a big anniversary by finally being able to marry in the courthouse. I say, God grant you many years and God bless Iowa!